Aunt refuses to let 15-year-old in home after he lashes out while she helps her sister move apartment: 'Not once have I been offered an apology'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Nov 9, 2025 9:00 PM EST

Deciding to cut contact with a family member is rarely an easy decision. Even when it seems like an obvious choice to an outsider, there is often some hesitancy in saying goodbye to somebody as close as a relative even if it is intended to be temporary. Few enjoy the idea of tearing their family apart, but there are situations in which it is unavoidable. 

These kinds of dilemmas can be especially difficult when the individual that somebody needs separation from is a minor. Most kids going through a tough phase need all the help they can get to reach the other side of it. However, it can get to a point where it is does not feel feasible to deal with them acting out on a regular basis, no matter what anybody else thinks. At a certain point, the wellbeing of those on the receiving end of certain behaviors has to be taken into consideration.

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  • a teenage boy looks moody with a dark background
    via Helena Kitchingman

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • This is how one woman felt when she considered stopping her teenage nephew from visiting her home after she had a frightening altercation with him in her sister's apartment. She was helping her sister move in, and things escalated quickly when her nephew refused to join in the effort of moving.

    She felt that it was unfair to have the boy around her own children, and she did not trust that it was safe, and she didn't think her sister was doing enough to try and correct his behavior. She wondered if it would be too inappropriate to say that he wasn't welcome at Thanksgiving.

  • Would I be wrong if I told my sister my 16yo nephew is no longer welcome in my home?

    My(f28) sister(32) is a single mom to two kids (15M and 13F). Recently, she moved into the apartment directly below the apartment she was living in and I was helping her with the move.
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  • Her 15-year-old son had barely helped and was told the night before he would be helping take the last of the stuff down in the morning.
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  • Around 8 AM, my sister woke him up and asked him to move the rest of HIS stuff downstairs.
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  • He stayed in bed on his phone for about half an hour, ignoring her completely. Eventually, I walked by and told him firmly that his mom had asked him multiple times and that it was time to get up and help.
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  • He still sat there, staring at his phone. After a few more minutes, my sister raised her voice, reminding him that she had told him not to stay up all night because they were moving early and she needed his help.
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  • Instead of listening, he got up and tried to leave the apartment. My sister stood by the front door to stop him (he has a tendency to run away when upset), and he started yelling and screaming that everyone needed to leave him tf alone and when my sister didn't move, he actually tried to jump off the balcony.
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  • We were on the second floor. My sister got him back inside and told him to stop overreacting and he completely lost it and got in her face.
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  • I stepped in between them and He got right in my face, yelling for me to get the f outta my way, b*, or he would hurt me.
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  • Things escalated quickly - there was a lot of him calling us out of our names, me pushing him away from my sister because he was basically touching her face with his at certain points yelling at her, me reminding him(with the same energy) that he was a little boy and if he was gonna hurt someone, it wasn't going to be his mother and if he touched any of us the cops would be called.
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  • a closeup of a woman wiping a tear from her face
    via Nini FromParis (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Eventually, he stormed off, and as he was walking down the stairs I told him he needed to help his mom instead of running away.
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  • He shouted "shut up, dumbass" back at me. When I started to respond, my sister told me to just leave him alone.
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  • Someone called the cops and when the cops brought him home everyone(my sister, my mom, my sister daughter) downplayed the situation, so I just stayed quiet, "not my kid" I kept telling myself.
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  • The only consequence he got from my sister was having his PlayStation and computer taken away.
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  • He still has his phone, and as far as I can tell, that was it. It has been almost a week and everyone is acting like everything is normal, she calls me to talk(I answer because I'm not necessarily upset with her) but not once have I been offered an apology from him (he also has my number) Now, here's my issue I don't feel safe - having him around my kids.
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  • He's verbally aggressive, physically unpredictable, and clearly feels no remorse for what happened. I also don't like the idea of someone being in my home who can act like that toward adults and face almost no real consequences.
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  • I love my sister, and I know she's struggling as a single mom, but I can't just ignore how uncomfortable I feel.
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  • We were discussing thanksgiving later that night and having it at my house, because she lives in an
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  • I agreed but later as I thought about it, that means allowing someone who treated me that way into my peace.
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  • I feel wrong for feeling this way about a child, but I don't want him in my life anymore.
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  • She isn't doing anything to make him see that in 2 years when he's an adult he can't act this way and so it feels pointless when he won't listen to anyone else either, so this is who is going to be?
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  • So, would I be the asshole is I told my sister he is no longer welcome in my home, including holidays?
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  • a closeup of a woman holding a hand to her face
    via Nini FromParis (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • People sympathized with the woman's point of view.

    KyoshiWinchester I wouldn't have gotten away with anything like that when I was a kid either. I'm not sure how people started confusing gentle parenting with permissive parents but it's resulted in a lot of kids like this. parents don't realize not disciplining their kids is setting them up for failure because no one will tolerate this once he's an adult and living in the real world
    via KyoshiWinchester
  • OP Environmental_Rip32 She parents out of guilt, their dad(who was not a constant in their lives) passed away a few years ago and she really started letting them walk all over her.
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  • LibraryMouse4321 She created a monster by not putting the effort into parenting. You shouldn't have to put up with him and his behavior, and you definitely don't want your kids exposed to it.
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  • OP Environmental_Rip32 That's my biggest thing, we all grew up in fucked up situations and I've protected my kids from any of that, and I plan on continuing to do som
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  • That-Turnover-9624 My fear for this mother is that at 16 this monster is no longer miniature
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  • Rapid_Wind12 Good momma! Glad your husband hopefully has your back!
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  • OP Environmental_Rip32 Definitely! He was supposed be at work(he's military and has days he has to be there all day/night) and he shows up to make sure we were all ok
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  • Sherr822 Maybe (I said maybe) he's acting out of fear and anger that his dad's gone and he's too scared to "be the man of the house". In any case, he needs counseling and therapy to get to the other side. I think he's struggling with his own thoughts and emotions that are not being sorted out, etc. I think it's good you're setting boundaries OP, but make sure he understands it's his actions and verbal threats that are unacceptable no matter what, under any circumstances. Of course, you're NTA, i
    via Sherr822
  • OP Environmental_Rip32 I could totally see that..I just wish he would talk to someone about it, I hate seeing him this way, he was my little buddy a few years ago and now this... Thank you for that I'm really trying to
    via Environmental_Rip32

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family drama aita argument family sister reddit thread no contact Reddit nephew
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